The Punchline

Hey.

Remind me
Once more—
of reminiscence.
Nostalgic forever, 
memory of a friendship
that cut.  
Both. 
Ways.

Wit sharpened thin…
fascination’s crooked grin
contempt curled at the edges
like a blade
digging in.

Cynical. 
Jaded. 
Eternally conflicted.
Forever contradicted.
A loop
you scripted.

Step forth.

Go on.
Walk through the gates
of regret.
Pretend you’ll walk out clean.
(You won’t.
Not yet.)

Take up arms, but
hold your fire—
the path ahead?
A slow-burning pyre
you keep calling
the future.

Between supposed lovers
lies the gap,
the canyon,
left behind
by those who loved last
for one.
Suspended.
Moment. 
In. 
Time.

Simple attachment—
familiarity’s noose.
Haunted.
Taunted
by the ghosts
you refuse.
Delusions of grandeur
rotting at the seams.
We atone for infidelity—
for the affair
that lived
only in dreams.

The one that might’ve lasted…
might’ve become
if fear
hadn’t
won.
I’ve had my share of
luck and loss.
I’ve wept and
laughed.
I’ve fucked and
fought—
paid the cost
and I accept the truth:
life is hell.

Quiet & cool like
night’s dark embrace while
shadows slump, drunk
against alley walls;
intoxicated
with their own
self-importance.

Just tall enough
to stay upright,
yet fragile enough
to fall
anyway.
Afraid to touch—
‘cause one of us
might live beyond the other.

My head’s in the clouds,
you’re in another life—
another orbit,
another sky
far from mine,
by design.

Shall I free you? 
Can I see you
in your element?
I never wanted you;
never noticed you
‘till you noticed me.
‘Till your gaze
pinned me—
violently.

The only one
who left me speechless,
knees weak,
always tempting,
never attempting
to let the truth
slip out.

Smiles and laughter—
they quiet my monster.
But if you don’t get out of here
I can’t be held responsible.
And if I’m not your greatest fear,
then maybe…
maybe
we could be unstoppable.

Dangerous.
Unhinged.
Incredible.

Sometimes I lie awake at night
and you hear me crying. 
There’s nothing left inside to fight
I’m done denying.
Through your darkness
you drain my light and 
with cold delight
you leave me "sleeping"
Half-alive.

I hear you laugh
as I cry,
a punchline—
the whole.
Damn.
Time.

This is not my life.

What have I come here for?
This can’t be what you’re like.
I’ve been here before.
We never get it right.
so tonight,
once more,
I’ll leave you
face-down,
lights out,
passed out
on the floor.